It’s the start of the new year. Christmas has long been forgotten. Hence decorations have been taken down. While new years hangovers are wearing off, which can only mean one thing. The January transfer window is up and active. And thus transfer announcements are about to be in full force. So what better time to look at the worst transfer announcement videos of the Premier league.

 Deals are beginning to be made. Christian Pulisic signing for Chelsea appears to be the pick of the bunch in the early stages. And as always rumours are in full force, each one less believable than the last.

Cesc Fabregas shoots for Chelsea

Cesc Fabregas looks rumoured to be ending his time at Chelsea to join AS Monaco | Image by Aleksandr Opisov (CC BY 2.0)

But if recent trends are anything to go buy, you can say goodbye to traditional transfer announcements. You know the ones. A simple cheesy photo of your new signing holding his new club shirt. Camera Lens focused on the name on the back. Unfortunately, the classic press conference or pitch side photo is becoming a thing of the past.

Instead clubs now opt for fast paced action-packed player highlights or an attempted comedic sketch posted to twitter to inform fans of a signing. The former I can get on board with. The latter is often laughable and met with ridicule from rival fans.

In tribute to this I’ve decided to give you the rundown of my worst 7 transfer announcements of the premier league. Strap yourself in and get ready to cringe, here’s number 7.

7) Mo Salah to Liverpool, June 2017

Now this one takes last spot on the list, not because of any overwhelming cringe. Instead due to the naff quality and simplicity of the vid.

For a club of the stature of history of Liverpool you would think they could come up with something better. A quick scroll on twitter followed by a cheeky wave to camera. I mean, really?

For a player with so much ability and talent, you’d be forgiven for thinking his announcement video would share the same class and style. Wrong, here you’ve got a 17 second video that could have been put together by a year 8 IT student.

6) Lucas Moura to Tottenham, January 2018

If ever there was a video that summed up what’s wrong with modern football. This annoys me even more because Spurs are in fact, a likeable team with an attractive style of play.

So why the insistent need for different handshakes with each player? A simple fist bump or hand tap would suffice. The excessive greeting routines that border on choreographed dance will then no doubt turn in to celebrations on the pitch.

These moves just aren’t as classic as the Shearer sky point or the Robbie Keane cartwheel. Sorry Alli, Son and Lucas, over exaggerated hand shakes need to be left in 2018.

5) Wilfried Bony & Roque Mesa to Swansea, Summer 2017

In at number 5 is a double effort from Swansea. Whilst both videos are comical and cringy in their own right the clinching factor that makes this even better is that both players turned out to be flops, and Swansea were relegated at the end of the season.

Bony had previously been a stand out player at Swansea. So, did his return to the club deserve a welcome back video? Maybe. Should this video have been of Big Wilf slowly pulling his Swansea shirt on whilst singing a chant dedicated to him? Absolutely not. The pain in his eyes says it all.

As for Roque Mesa, you’d think they’d signed a Spanish legend at the start of his announcement. Not a player who’s spent most his career in the Segunda Division B.

4) João Mário to West Ham, January 2018

Ah that old chestnut of comparing the surname of your new signing to a cartoon. I’m sure Joao was thrilled to see himself introduced to his new fanbase in a super Mario game. Rather than just hold up his shirt for a quick pic.

The worst bit about all this is he was just a loan signing. Never lived up to the hype either. Worth noting, he made his debut in a 2-0 cup loss to League one Wigan. Yes, Wigan.

3) Alexis Sanchez to Manchester United, January 2018

Seems to be a bit of a theme here. I don’t know what it is about last January, but something must have been in the air.

Cue 20 times title winners United unveiling global superstar Sanchez with a video of him playing the piano. Seriously.

Just let the lad go out on Old Trafford and do some kick ups in front of the fans. Have him sign some autographs if he wants. “Yeah go on Alexis, play ‘Glory Glory Man United’ on the piano, the fans will love that.” It’s mental. Wonder if Roy Keane or Scholesy wish they got offered the same stunt? Thought so.

2) John Terry to Aston Villa, July 2017

I’ll admit this is technically a championship signing. Villa had just been relegated a couple months earlier. But I couldn’t miss out this gem of an announcement.

Whoever was in charge of this piece must follow a few meme sites on Facebook. Villa went for a mock WhatsApp group chat to welcome the Chelsea and England legend to the club.

Surely he deserves better than that. The man has won it all. He’s the definition of a win at all costs, body on the line defender. Yet he’s welcomed with a rushed fake group chat. Dear oh dear. What were they thinking?

This club announced Lewis Grabban with a cinematic short film and JT gets the mock group chat treatment. Disgraceful.

1) Antonio Rüdiger to Chelsea, July 2017

In at the coveted top spot taking the prize for worst transfer announcement of the premier league, it is none other than Antonio Rüdiger! Take a bow son. Take a bow.

Chelsea have all the riches in the world at their disposal. Yet this announcement is about as low budget as it possibly could be. Pure cringe and disappointment.

Chelsea aren’t typically a club that does this either, so why subject poor Toni to the embarrassment. Pulisic didn’t get a similar announcement video this week. He can count himself one of the lucky ones.

Starting to miss the press conference photos now? Yeah. Me too.

Bonus Extra

With all other prem clubs around them announcing star signings in comical fashion. Here is Southampton with a work of art.

The saints announced Veteran 36 year old reserve keeper Stuart Taylor had signed a one year contract extension with this over the top spectacle. Piss taking of the finest order.